Monday Chat with Carl Crawford
In the first installment of our new chat series, Fake Baseball Team beat writer Dave Gilmartin sits down with Vinnies Pizzeria outfielder Carl Crawford.
FBT: Carl, what do the following players have in common: Manny Ramirez, Johan Santana, Derek Lee, and Jason Bay?
CC: Well, they're all great fake baseball players.
FBT: They were also selected after you in this year's draft. What surprised you more: your early selection, or Uncle Junior shooting Tony on the Sopranos?
CC: Tony getting shot was quite a shock, but I feel I can play with anyone as long as I go out there and play my game as I know I can play it. That said, being drafted ahead of those players was quite an honor.
FBT: Has the shock contributed to your befuddlement at the plate?
CC: It may have. I'm still getting comfortable up there. It's early, and I've gotta get the kinks out. Expectations are high, which adds some pressure. I just gotta take it one game at a time.
FBT: Speaking of one game, on Friday you managed to go 0 for 4 against the Kansas City Royals. Walk us through that.
CC: I was pressing. The Royals might not have many pitchers who actually belong in the major leagues, but you still gotta go out there and hit the ball. I worked the count a few times, was seeing the ball well, and took my hacks. Unfortunately, I just couldn't hit it where they ain't.
FBT: Are there any more cliches you'd like to get in there?
CC: Well, I was going to say that it's a team game, and we've all got to play together.
FBT: Speaking of which, Travis Hafner and Jim Thome have managed to pick up most of your slack in the early goings. In fact, their performances have done a great deal to obscure the fact that you're hitting .269 with 0 home runs. Have you bought either of them a fruit basket or gold watch yet?
CC: I'm only going to answer baseball questions.
FBT: Maybe flowers, even. Okay, here's a baseball question: Given the fact that Bronson Arroyo has driven two balls over the fence already, is it safe to assume that a monkey would have hit a homerun by this point in the season? Assuming, of course, that the monkey is getting regular at bats?
CC: Well, it would of course depend on the monkey's approach to the game. Carl Crawford isn't just going up there hacking. Carl Crawford takes the situation into account. Sometimes Carl needs to hit a single. Other times Carl needs to steal a base. That's just Carl being Carl.
FBT: Still, your manager was recently quoted as saying, "I look around the league, and can't believe the guys who are hitting better than Carl Crawford. I'm no doctor, but it's like he's taking some sort of steroid antidote or something. Jesus Christ, our catcher [Jason Varitek] is swiping bases at the same rate, and he's got the knees of a 300 year old man." That must hurt.
CC: It's all motivation for me. Jason's a great player. I know what I can do out there, and I just gotta make it happen. Sure, it was ludicrous to select me with the 6th pick in the draft. Only an absolute moron would do that. But now I gotta play up to the pressure.
FBT: Well, Carl Crawford, that about wraps things up. Thank you for your time.
CC: Thank you.
Next week: Dave chats with John Lieber about getting rocked every time you step on a pitcher's mound.
FBT: Carl, what do the following players have in common: Manny Ramirez, Johan Santana, Derek Lee, and Jason Bay?
CC: Well, they're all great fake baseball players.
FBT: They were also selected after you in this year's draft. What surprised you more: your early selection, or Uncle Junior shooting Tony on the Sopranos?
CC: Tony getting shot was quite a shock, but I feel I can play with anyone as long as I go out there and play my game as I know I can play it. That said, being drafted ahead of those players was quite an honor.
FBT: Has the shock contributed to your befuddlement at the plate?
CC: It may have. I'm still getting comfortable up there. It's early, and I've gotta get the kinks out. Expectations are high, which adds some pressure. I just gotta take it one game at a time.
FBT: Speaking of one game, on Friday you managed to go 0 for 4 against the Kansas City Royals. Walk us through that.
CC: I was pressing. The Royals might not have many pitchers who actually belong in the major leagues, but you still gotta go out there and hit the ball. I worked the count a few times, was seeing the ball well, and took my hacks. Unfortunately, I just couldn't hit it where they ain't.
FBT: Are there any more cliches you'd like to get in there?
CC: Well, I was going to say that it's a team game, and we've all got to play together.
FBT: Speaking of which, Travis Hafner and Jim Thome have managed to pick up most of your slack in the early goings. In fact, their performances have done a great deal to obscure the fact that you're hitting .269 with 0 home runs. Have you bought either of them a fruit basket or gold watch yet?
CC: I'm only going to answer baseball questions.
FBT: Maybe flowers, even. Okay, here's a baseball question: Given the fact that Bronson Arroyo has driven two balls over the fence already, is it safe to assume that a monkey would have hit a homerun by this point in the season? Assuming, of course, that the monkey is getting regular at bats?
CC: Well, it would of course depend on the monkey's approach to the game. Carl Crawford isn't just going up there hacking. Carl Crawford takes the situation into account. Sometimes Carl needs to hit a single. Other times Carl needs to steal a base. That's just Carl being Carl.
FBT: Still, your manager was recently quoted as saying, "I look around the league, and can't believe the guys who are hitting better than Carl Crawford. I'm no doctor, but it's like he's taking some sort of steroid antidote or something. Jesus Christ, our catcher [Jason Varitek] is swiping bases at the same rate, and he's got the knees of a 300 year old man." That must hurt.
CC: It's all motivation for me. Jason's a great player. I know what I can do out there, and I just gotta make it happen. Sure, it was ludicrous to select me with the 6th pick in the draft. Only an absolute moron would do that. But now I gotta play up to the pressure.
FBT: Well, Carl Crawford, that about wraps things up. Thank you for your time.
CC: Thank you.
Next week: Dave chats with John Lieber about getting rocked every time you step on a pitcher's mound.
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