Internet Connection Threatens Fantasy Campaign

In a stunning turn of events, Vinnies Pizzeria General Manager Josh Aiello has agree to spend the next 4 days in Washington, DC. In addition to the area's shocking lack of dining and cultural options, rumor has it that the GM will have only a dialup internet connection at his disposal, effectively rendering such modern conveniences as StatTracker virtually unuseable, to say nothing of his ability to respond to and/or propose trades. The news has sent Aiello's league into a frenzied tizzy of speculation and innuendo, as even the most beleagured GMs see an opening that has eluded them since draft day. "This will do more to cripple Vinnies Pizzeria than Chase Utley's batting average," gushed Premature Greys' GM Chris Naughton, barely able to conceal a giggle. Bill Griffith, of the perennial doormat Boro Boys, could only respond to the news after collapsing onto a cushioned divan and being adminstered smelling salts and a shot of whisky, and even then could only mutter an astonished, "my heavens."

While not quite on par with, say, spending a week on the lunar surface, the barren wasteland known as Washington, DC, has long been considered a fake baseball no man's land, despite the recent relocation of a Canadian Yahoo free public league to the area. It is unknown precisely how Aiello plans to fill the time normally spent obsessing over his fantasy team, though one hypothesis has him doing fifteen to twenty loads of laundry, owing to the fact that the savages still smoke in bars down there.