An Apology to My Faithful Readers (Both of You)

It's been forever, I know. I keep meaning to post, but then I don't. Here are some excuses:

1. Unbelievable laziness.
2. The goddamn unrelenting heat wave.
3. Trying to be productive (job hunting, etc.) instead of blogging.
4. My fantasy team is just so unspeakably awesome it's hard to think of jokes about it.
5. Netflix
6. I've been drunk for much of the past month.
7. Three months and still no book deal? What's the point?
8. Considered doing a pictorial history of the Vinnies Pizzeria fake baseball club, then realized this would constitute some pathetic line in the sand from which there would be no return.

Okay, this isn't funny at all. That's why I haven't been writing. I've got nothing. Nothing except a second place fantasy team, that is.